This episode was recorded on March 14th, 2025.

Reverend Helen Orr is the Vicar of The Benefices of Bassingbourn and Whaddon, known for her thoughtful pastoral leadership and creative spirit. In addition to her work in ministry, she is a gifted songwriter and singer, bringing a unique blend of artistic expression and spiritual depth to her vocation. Reverend Orr is passionate about meaningful dialogue, exploring the intersections of faith, personal growth, and well-being. Her warm and inquisitive presence fosters candid conversations that resonate with audiences seeking insight into both the spiritual and the everyday.

Freya India is author of the Substack GIRLS, and a staff writer for Jonathan Haidt's Substack, After Babel.

Find more from Freya and Helen:
Freya’s substack: https://www.freyaindia.co.uk/

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— Chapters —
00:00 - Introducing the Series: “What Do Girls Really Want?”
02:05 - Faith as a Habit and the Loss of Trust in Modern Relationships
05:10 - The Role of Boundaries in Creating Stability
08:08 - Cynicism, Red Flags, and the Fear of Commitment
11:10 - Agape Love and the Case Against “Putting Yourself First”
14:00 - Community, Church, and Why Women Need Support
17:16 - The Algorithmic Influence on Relationship Advice
20:00 - The Disconnect Between Therapy Language and Real Faith
23:07 - Celibacy, Sex, and the Erosion of Marriage Incentives
26:19 - Women Making Men Good: The Power of Commitment
29:23 - Raising Children as a Rite of Maturity
32:18 - Rebuilding Community Through Church and Neighborliness
35:14 - Perfectionism, TikTok Culture, and the Fear of Motherhood
38:04 - Delayed Gratification and Why It’s Essential for Love
41:00 - Learning to Negotiate: Marriage as a Sacred Dance
44:08 - The Myth of “Fixing Yourself First” Before Love
47:06 - Telling the Truth in Marriage and the Role of Transparency
50:17 - Young Girls and the Lie of Waiting for the Perfect Partner
53:13 - Arguing with Love: The Art of Reconciliation
56:09 - Creating Sacred Spaces: From Tiny Apartments to Hospitality
59:18 - What Babies Need: Presence, Not Perfection
01:03:00 - The Power of Listening and Generational Wounds
01:06:40 - The Marriage Vision: Who Do You Want to Be?
01:10:03 - Advice for Young Women: Rejecting the Culture of Endless Options
01:13:21 - Why “We All Are Red Flags” Is a Message of Grace
01:16:00 - Ending the Episode: Reclaiming Wisdom, Womanhood, and Community